


Paradichlorobenzene

by Colamiilk



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Based on, Depression, F/M, Len & Rin POV, Lots of coffee symbolism, Might be more charaters later, Mostly Len, POV Second Person, Paradichlorobenzene, Paranoia, Psychosis, Two-Shot, don't yell at me I'm actually diagnosed with paranoia, kinda a song fic?, mentions of chronic pain disorders, owata-p, technically there underage but i aged them up, there like college age but not in school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 04:02:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7298794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Colamiilk/pseuds/Colamiilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It <em>hurt</em>, It had always hurt. </p><p> </p><p>  <em>So why was it only affecting you now?</em></p><p> </p><p>Paradichlorobenzene Len struggling through illness and Rin messing with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bitter

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, warnings; Triggering, Unhealthy behavior, I wrote this off my meds, Relapse inducing. 
> 
> This gets pretty serious and is based off things I went through and len's song paradichlorobenzene, i'd recommend being like 15 at least to read this? but i mean i'm not your mom, so do whatever. 
> 
> Please comment and feel free to ask questions

It _hurt_ , It had always hurt. 

_So why was it only affecting you now?_

The light filters through your blinds to settling over your eyes, illuminating the dust and pissing you off. Every day your body is rejecting the idea of getting up, to just sleep forever. You would if not for the uncomfortableness and pain that forces you up, making sure you suffer through each day. 

Pain could be little, like a nip from a dog, or it could be as strong as blades being stuck into your skin. Most days it was ignorable, but days like these; there was nothing you could do to take the edge off. 

You’re so tired, your last good night of sleep was years ago. Probably when you were an infant. The stains under your eyes were purple and green, literally becoming bruises with the mistreatment. Anger bubbles in your blood as you imagine people saying ‘oh yeah i had insomnia the other day’, or giving advice. No one was there but you could hear their annoying speech. You seemed to bother yourself when no one did it for you. 

The coffee maker burbled and popped, old and uncleaned. You had always hated coffee, attempts to make it more bearable, if anything, made it worse. Ruining the things you loved by mixing them with such a bitter liquid. 

The only clock in your house was the tiny red LED display on the top of the coffee pot, signaling 7am. You were so tired; you had only gotten to bed at 4am. The cold counter was angled so it pressed into your kidneys with your hip bone immediately underneath. It was soothing making you feel real and anchored, however the middle of winter made your apartment frigid; and your breath could be seen wafting through the dark air. 

There was no where you needed to be; no one who wanted to see you. But staying in here was driving you mad, your hands curled around your paper coffee cup (one you had been reusing again and again since that time you splurged at a starbucks, they couldn’t even make coffee taste good) you trudged out the door. 

Your landlord was shouting something but you ignored him, his rules were all pointless. As long as you coughed up the money he wanted he couldn’t care less what you did, sadly it didn’t stop him from complaining. His complaining was annoying, his blue hair would stand on it's end and his face would turn red, stumbling over words. 

Glancing upward she looks down on you, her smile loud and infuriating. No matter how you change your schedule she’s always watching, you wonder if she leaves that porch. 

Giving a nasty glare you’re on your way again, you hear her giggling as you trot down the steps. You down the dark black coffee and you're filled with an urge to vomit, no matter how much you want to you can’t. Once it's down it's won’t come back up. 

Dropping the crumpled cup you walk aimlessly, stopping in the center of town. No one acknowledges you, you’re not shocked, you’re the scum of earth after all. You got blacklisted from high schools and could never get into college, all your money comes from unspeakable acts. But you like it this way, you can never keep your cool talking to people. Your anger will well up, and you’ll wake up to a detention hall. 

Your stomach rumbles and you can’t get the motivation to feed yourself. You can’t be trusted with that much energy anyway; your resolve not to eat chips away at the smell of bread. 

Deciding that one slice won’t kill anyone you walk up. The baker refuses to serve you, You have the money but he doesn’t want to support delinquents. Slamming way less then the bread costs out of anger onto the register you steal a piece of bread. At first it seems that he may stop you, but all you have to do it glare and the baker takes the money and leaves into the kitchen. 

It's okay. You stopped noticing flavors a while ago, it happened around the same time colors started to fade. 

Eating the last of your bread, and wiping the flour off on your shorts; you glance around. You’ve wandered out near the cities drainage river, and you can already telling getting back it going to be a pain in the ass. 

And you notice, she’s here. Her eyes trained on you. There filled with hate but she doesn’t look like she’s about to fight. A cat twirls around her ankles also not breaking eye contact with you; you feel so judged and rage swirls in your body. 

Right when you’re about to fight, she swirls around. A malice filled smile and laugh. The cat jumps far away from both of us.


	2. Incorrigible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonus Chapter #1 Rin POV

Incorrigible, Irredeemable, Inveterate, Sinful.

Humanity is all those things, he is all those things, you are all those things.

Cold wind whips through your open porch doors, papers without weights blown all over. Your house has become gray and water damaged, never closing the door so you don’t miss him. The one with the same pain in his eyes. He glares at you and you laugh. 

There’s something wrong with him, you know because there's something wrong with you too. You want to expose him, shatter his heart and keep it to yourself, watching it rot away. 

“I’ll correct him, I always do” Your promise is whisked away by the breeze, and you smile at his disappearing back.

Following behind him on his path of destruction. Lies and well placed threats; he pursues his own self satisfaction. he doesn’t notice you until it's too late, until you’ve trapped him near the river. The cat swirls around you, showing up out of nowhere. You don’t say anything, you don’t need to. 

He seems to size you up, searching for intentions. Whatever he finds is bad because he shifts to an offensive position, you laugh, giggles spilling around your fingers, as if he could beat you. He scared, and you don’t blame him after all you’ll be bringing him justice. 

Your laugh scares the cat away and he flinches. Your lips curl into a predatory smile, and you start towards him. He stands his ground.

“You think I can’t see behind your silly facades?” You can see the suffering in his eyes, just like yours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I liked these two chapters and I was cool with it ending with the cat symbolism, i may add more but idk


End file.
